holiday

This is the second day of my holiday in Malaysia and i find myself wide awake after sahur.....usually i'll just crawl back to my bed,wrap myself in my comforter and wake up 10 hours later...but it seems now im more...active..haha...maybe due to the fact that i slept a lot the day before yesterday or,ive grown up...wow~ hahaha...
this holiday seems a little bit......how can i put it,bored maybe...because i have no car,and some of my friends are not in Malaysia...those here are a little lazy to go out due to ...haih....just my luck having holidays during this time...
besides being bored, i think im getting into a state of depression..haha...a lot of complication occurs in my usually bored life lately....that makes it a little less bored and more spices in it but yet,more spices doesnt mean good...ive just lost a relationship that i hold really dear to.....i ended the relationship but yet im the one feeling sad about it...funny huh? why end it if ur going to feel sad after that? well.....what if continuing the relationship also makes me sad? which sadness should i choose? its easy to decide when u have clear options given..but in my case...either way,i'll be depressed...but at least right now my depression will be my own trouble alone,not to share or burden anyone....its quite sad really...i feel like ive lost something that ive grown attached to....it may sound like movie script or corny but yes,the relationship do feel like a part of my life...maybe because the duration of it and ive never been in a lot of relationship....ive known her since im 14....now im 21.....ive known her for 7 years....and was in love with her for the 5-6 years in it....so u can guess how the relationship has grown as a part of me...but yet i decided to end it...not for good but at least for now....because for few reasons i do not wish to share....no doubt its unfair for her for me to end it,but yet,i think thats the only way...i dont know...maybe it was a wrong decision...but then,i remembered a saying,"there's no right or wrong decision,there's only how we handle the decision after we made it"....i hope its true and i hope i'll handle it well...at least better than i used to handle it 4 years ago....


ok...i dont know what to blabber about anymore...im too bored,i cant sleep,i cant eat and i cannot go out and its holiday...aih~ hopefully my friends will have plans to go out or anything for the next few days...or i think my holidays in Malaysia will be wasted on internet,sleep,psp,xbox and more sleep...aih..