emo

this wud be the first post which is posted due to my emo-ness...haha....i dunno,sumhow i felt after this 21 years of living,there are some decisions which im truely regret taking it....they say never regret for what u've done cuz that whats making u today...dats quite true but somehow somewhere there's a little voice in me saying that i dont like this...there's no right or wrong decision...its only about how we live it...but what if i dont like living my decision? i just cant quit...and i just cant go on living a lie am i? am trying to let it flow...but i dont like following the flow because its my life, im not going to let my life flow....but going against the flow is something im not up to do...haih~

It still feels like our first night together
Feels like the first kiss and
It's gettin' better baby
No one can better this
I'm still holding on and you're still the one
The first time our eyes met it's the same feelin' I get
Only feels much stronger and I wanna love you longer
You still turn the fire on

So If you're feelin' lonely.. don't
You're the only one I'd ever want
I only wanna make it good
So if I love you a little more than I should

Please forgive me I know not what I do
Please forgive me I can't stop lovin' you
Don't deny me
This pain I'm going through
Please forgive me
If I need you like I do
Please believe me
Every word I say is true
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you

Still feels like our best times are together
Feels like the first touch
We're still gettin' closer baby
Can't get close enough I'm still holdin' on
You're still number one I remember the smell of your skin
I remember everything
I remember all your moves
I remember you
I remember the nights you know I still do

One thing I'm sure of
Is the way we make love
And the one thing I depend on
Is for us to stay strong
With every word and every breath I'm prayin'
That's why I'm sayin'...

by Bryan Adams...i love this song.....

people and politics..

New things each day...thats how life is...every day i see something new,learn something new, know something i never imagined before...anyway,as usual, my topic of the day is politic...hahaha..how people and politic are inseparable.....what is politic? i can sum it up in a simple situation...a kid brought an extra sandwich to class...he gave it to one of his classmate of which he wanted to borrow his class notes....thats how simple politic is...its abt building relation with people...but knowing the evil nature in human, they manipulate politic to be something lower than filth itself..some people do politic for money, some for power, some for their own personal objectives..it could be anything,from good to bad...sometimes it can be seen as using people to get what you wanted...and some people are very good at it,they can make the people they use unaware that they are being used....
lets take a look at a smaller scope,my college....haha..politics are everywhere,even on college level...being on good terms with the lecturers might gives u the edge if you ever listed for the viva...or if you skip class, you can still get the attendance by giving some reasons as long as you are in good terms with the lecturer...some of my collegemate use their knowledge to be their political edge..knowledge in religion,in technology..anything will do to gain support of people, or to put up their name so that people will see that their exist...and it irks me when this kind of people(status craze people) when they start abusing their knowledge to gain a higher status in the society....well,everything must start somewhere,and at last these people,my collegemates whom will grow up and be the one leading the country,brought along these kind of politic into the country political scene....
and the result? is like what we've seen now...power craze here and there....using all kind of tricks,personality assasination....yes,im really against personality assasination...for example,you are fighting against another candidate for another party...you try to win the crowd not by winning their hearts, but by 'killing' the other candidate so that you will be the only candidate...how to kill? they look up your personal history,from the day you are born till the day you've become their enemy....every single thing will be put up, even how long it takes for you to stop urinating on bed...anything will do to put you down,and it will always succeed...why? because no human is perfect..


thats enough about politic,what im interested to say today is about tahajjud....LITERALLY means to struggle rid oneself from sleep...just now,there was a small misunderstanding between my batchmates about the way it is done...though RARELY did it...hehe...but this is the result of my research and i found out,mostly in Quranic verses, they act is done after one sleeps,though it is not wrong to do it without sleeping..so in the end it still depends on our purpose(niat) right?

Allah Most High said, “Establish worship at the going down of the sun until the dark of the night, and (the recital of) the Qur’an at dawn. Lo! (the recital of) the Qur’an at dawn is ever witnessed. And some part of the night awake for its recital, as voluntary worship for you. It may be that your Lord will raise you to a praised estate.” [Qur’an, 17: 78-79]

From this it can be seen that some part of night we are required to be awake,meaning that we sleep before that and some part means later in the night...

‘They forsake their beds to cry unto their Lord in fear and hope, and spend of what We have bestowed on them. No soul knows what is kept hid from them of joy, as a reward for what they used to do.’ [Qur’an, 32: 16-17]

from this it can be seen that,they forsake their bed,meaning they give up their bed or they wake up to do something....

and this is from ijma' ulama'...

1. The minimal night vigil prayer is 2 rakats. [Hindiyya, quoting Fath al-Qadir]

2. Its optimal recommended amount is 8 rakats, because this was the general practice of the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace be upon him, his family, and companions). [Hindiyya, quoting Fath al-Qadir]

3. Lengthier recitation is superior to a larger number of rakats prayed. [Durr al-Mukhtar, Radd al-Muhtar]

4. If one divides the night in thirds, then the final middle third is most virtuous. [Durr al-Mukhtar]

5. If one divides the night in half, then the second half is more virtuous. [ibid.]

6. Voluntary (nafl) prayer at night is more virtuous than voluntary prayer during the day. However, the full reward mentioned in the Qur’anic verses and Prophetic hadiths refers to worship that was preceded by sleep. This is also understood from the very linguistic meaning of tahajjud, which is to struggle rid oneself of sleep. [Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar, quoting Ibn Amir Haajj’s Halba]

7. Ibn Nujaym and Haskafi both affirmed that night prayer is recommended. [al-Bahr al-Ra’iq, and al-Durr al-Mukhtar; chosen in al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya] Kamal ibn al-Humam, the brilliant mujtahid who was the greatest Hanafi faqih of the latter half of Islamic history, however, wavered between it being recommended or a confirmed sunna. This is because while the spoken hadiths indicate recommendation, the continued practice of the Prophet Muhammad (Allah bless him and give him peace) would seem to indicate it being a confirmed sunna. This was also chosen by Ibn al-Humam’s student, Ibn Amir Haaj in his Halba. [Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar]

8. It is disliked to leave the night vigil prayer for one who has made it their habit, unless there is an excuse, because the Prophet Muhammad (Allah bless him and give him peace) said to Ibn Umar (Allah be pleased with him), “O Abd Allah! Do not be like so-and-so. He used to pray at night and then left it.” [Bukhari and Muslim] Therefore, one should take on an amount of works one can sustain, for the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace be upon him, his family, and companions) said, “The most beloved of actions to Allah are the most constant, even if little.” [Bukhari and Muslim] [Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar, from Ibn Amir Haajj’s Halba]

9. It is recommended to start the night vigil with two short rakats, because of the hadith of Abu Hurayra that the Prophet Muhammad (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “It you get up for night prayer, start with two short rakats.” [Muslim, Ahmad, Abu Dawud]

from this it can be seen that it is adviced to do the tahajjud later in the night,not early in the night...anyway,to those who cant accept ijma' from ulama'....i cant say anything more to you..to me,these ulama' has studied the literal and figurative meanings of the dalil and hadith and we who are only mere medic student with no sufficient knowledge of hadith,quranic verses,hukums, have no right to make our on decision on such things..yes,Syafie once said if you find a hadith or quranic verses contradicting him, follow the quran and hadith...but how do we interpret the dalil? is what we interpret right? don't you think Syafie or the other imams has not seen the dalil and interpret it before they lay out their opinions? to me,those words from Syafie are directed to those who live a life of studying this field only,who expertise are parallel to them or at least has sufficient knowledge about these...for us who make these things our side interest,(we didnt study this things like we study for our block exams right?) we're just simply not competent enough...its like when somebody who has never been to a medical school but wanted to give out a medical certificate...its just not right isn't it? to give decision on something like this which can affect others, you need to be competent...thats why there's leader and there's follower..thats why God gave His prophet his words,not directly to all of the people...because only competent people can do certain job....